Issues I didn't know we had
by levios
Summary: The story about how Arthur found love and how this caused family bonds to both form and break, told in both past and present time by Arthur. Merthur
1. Chapter 1

Hi again! This story is going to have chapters, but don't worry I will finish it! I have it written already, I'll just have to find time to read the next of the chapters through before I publish the rest. But please leave a comment and tell me what you think so far and I'll be back soon with the rest! :)

I **don't** own Merlin.

* * *

Why do you keep talking about the fact that blood is thicker than water? Why should that even matter? What if the blood is _infected_ – why should that be more important than clear, life-necessary water?

I used to think that the bond within a family was everything. That nothing could break it. I knew our family was different. I knew we thought them to be different. But not like this.

I had heard about family fights before of course. But I always thought it was because one part had done something _wrong_ and that they argued about something _real_. Of course, all people argue about is the thing less important for me. The thing that might be convenient to have but that will _never_ give you satisfaction. No matter how much you get.

I hate money. With every ounce of my body. And I loathe people living for it.

My father has always been a wealthy man. But he isn't blinded by gold the way he once was. He has changed, and so have I. We used to live a really wealthy life. Me, my father and my stepsister. We got everything we pointed at, me and my sister that is. And even as adults he has given us more than enough.

I don't want his money though. I started working early and worked myself up. I don't earn the amount of money that my father did before the company broke down and I probably never will, but enough for financing my family and not be dependent on my father's money.

Morgana, my stepsister, isn't like me. Or she is not like the me I am today. I used to be like her. I used to see the beauty of money and power. I used to think I was better than others, just because I was rich. I used to be a _prat_.

 _You still are though._

 _ **Shut up.**_

My whole life people have expected me to follow in my father's footsteps. I started working at his company but realized quickly that I didn't like it. It was too.. money oriented. It was all about making a profit and didn't have the meaning I'm looking for in life.

I guess I'm not really making any sense here, am I? Maybe I should take you back seven years to where it all started.

 _That might actually be a good idea._

And I will explain the constant interruption from a certain idiot..

 _Told you you're still a prat!_

* * *

 **Seven years earlier:**

"Hey, watch it! What do you think you're doing running around like that?"

"I'm in a hurry."

"You can still not run around like that in the office."

"Oh.. then sorry, but I really have to go!

"Hey! Come back!"

He didn't even turn around and look at me. I had problems finding a good assistant, but this was just too much. This one didn't follow orders, did everything wrong and on top of all talked back to me! I was his boss for heaven's sake. And I was beyond furious. He had already given me a nickname, can you believe it? Prat. On his first day. What does that even mean? He was a living disaster and I couldn't wait for him to do something wrong so I could fire him. Or I would fire him before that, it wasn't like I hadn't fired people for less in the past.

I had decided to fire him that same day, after he spilled my coffee all over me. Of course I kept an extra set of clothes at my office just in case but I didn't have time to take a shower or anything so I smelled like coffee for the rest of the day. And to top it all I had a meeting with my father the same afternoon.

* * *

"I guess you know what I wanted to talk to you about Arthur." My father said when I entered.

I knew. But I answered no, I wasn't going to play in his hands.

"I want to discuss your engagement of course. I believe Sophia's father will be much more willing to accept our deal once his daughter gets what she wants. It's important that we write the contract soon, Arthur. I hope you're planning to propose shortly."

I took a deep breath and looked up to meet my father's gaze.

"I don't want to marry her father. We are not right for each other, I can feel it. She's only after my money."

My father didn't disappoint me. Well he did of course, but he had exactly the kind of reaction I knew he would.

"For heaven's sake Arthur! We are _earning money_ here. Do you know how much we will benefit if he chooses to sign the contract? It doesn't matter that you'll have to share it with that girl, you'll earn enough for the both of you!"

"But I don't love her."

Uther slammed his hand to the table. He was furious as I knew he would be once I dropped the bomb.

"If we're going to go around waiting for you to _love_ someone Arthur, we will have to wait _forever_! Have you _ever_ had feelings for _anybody_ in your entire life?"

I knew my father would throw a fit. I knew he would be furious. I knew he would most likely disown me. But I didn't knew he had the ability to _hurt me_ like that.

Still, I would rather die than let it show, so I held my head high and refused to let his word get to me.

"I will not discuss this anymore. Do you have anything else to say or shall I leave now?"

"The discussion isn't over." Was all he answered through gritted teeth.

"I am aware."

With that I marched out before he could say anything more.

* * *

It shouldn't have affected me. I didn't let anyone affect me. I didn't let anyone get to me. It was years ago since I cried and wasn't going to do that now.

I got to my office before I couldn't hold my posture anymore. Instead of sitting down next to my table and putting my head in my hands and look depressed, like business men usually seemed to do, I sat down on the floor in the corner of my office. It was late, no one would come and I had really given it my all not to give into my feelings before. I hugged my legs and tried to make myself as small as possible. I don't know why I do that when I get sad, but I have done that since I was young.

The reason why his words affected me this way is obvious of course. They were true. I hadn't loved anyone. I had barely had feelings for anyone. And I had dated tons of girls, both in my teenage years and as an adult. But it never lead anywhere. No matter what kind of girls I dated, I didn't feel what others seemed to feel.

"Maybe you are looking at the wrong place."

My head snapped up as if someone had shot a bullet. Of course he couldn't keep time, remember how I want my coffee or how to organize my papers but did remember that he was going to clean up my office the last thing he did before he left. Of course he would remember _that part_ of the deal.

"You can leave. You can clean tomorrow."

But Merlin didn't leave. He just did what I knew he would. He sat down on the floor next to me, not touching me but close enough to.

"You are not strange, you know. Finding someone to love isn't easy. And you certainly haven't looked everywhere." Merlin's voice was soft but I couldn't read him.

"Look, I don't want to talk about it. Can I just have a moment alone?"

My voice was harsh. I really didn't have the energy to suppress my emotions any longer and I just wanted to be alone.

"It's okay though. Showing emotions I mean. I'm not going to judge you or anything. I cry every time I go from the hospital after visiting my mother."

Merlin looked out of the window and talked in a small tone. I didn't know that his mother was at the hospital and didn't know what kind of sickness she had. But I didn't dare to ask.

We sat like that for the rest of the evening. We didn't talk but it wasn't as uncomfortable as I had thought it would be. It was actually quiet _nice_ to have some company for once. Company that didn't make me want to cringe and run away that is.

* * *

I didn't fire Merlin that night. And not any other night either. After that, things changed. Merlin was still a clumsy idiot, but I knew there was more to him than that. More often than not he gave me his opinions regarding matters that was really none of his business and more often than I'd like to admit I listened to them. I'm not actually sure when or how we became friends. But we did. And I didn't realize myself until I got confronted by my father. Apparently you shouldn't care too much about your assistants.

I didn't really care though. Uther was mad at me for not proposing to Sophia and I didn't think that not hanging around with Merlin would help matters.

* * *

Being friends with Merlin was different than anything I had ever experienced before. He was different. He made me think differently. When I was with him I didn't worry about what I _should_ think or like or want. I didn't care that much about my father's approval and I didn't think that much about money. It just wasn't as important. What was important was Merlin, and Merlin's smile. I realized that Merlin smiled when I was truthful to myself and the smile disappeared when I did something just to please my father. Merlin smiled when I invited him out and wrinkled his nose when I lied and said I couldn't make it when I was really just forced to decline because of Sophia.

I realized from the moment I introduced Merlin to Sophia that they wouldn't get along. It had been a complete accident. I had been out with Merlin and we just ran into Sophia. From that day on she was way suspicious whenever I was home late or didn't show up.

"I want you to fire Merlin. I don't like him." She said one day.

"I like him." I responded shortly, not caring too much about what she thought about the matter.

She took my paper from my hand and put her hands on her hips, putting on her I'm-gonna-make-a-scene-face.

"I have already spoken to father and he said clearly that he will not have anything to do with Camelot industries as long as that poof is working for you."

I put down my cup forcefully on the table, almost making the coffee slip out.

"What did you call my friend?"

"Poof. Fag. Whatever you want to call it. He obviously just wants to get into your pants Arthur, haven't you noticed?" Sophia said with played surprised.

I could feel the anger boiling inside me and I stood up slowly trying to control my emotions.

"Merlin is my friend and if you are not alright with that you may leave. I will not let you talk about him in that way."

"He only wants to be with you so he can get into your position. Maybe he thinks that sleeping with the boss's son will give him the job that he wants."

"Merlin is not the one that is with me only because of my position, you are." I said, and I even surprised myself by being so calm.

"This has honestly been the worst year of my life and I end it now. You can tell your father that if he only wants the deal if I marry you he can forget it because that's not happening."

Sophia just looked like at me like I was out of my mind.

"Arthur, you don't mean that.. It's Merlin that has made you think that right? I'm telling you, Merlin is just.."

"Stop it." I interrupted and when she didn't move I did something I never thought I would do. I took her arm and practically dragged her out of my apartment. It felt extremely good slamming the door at her face once she was out.

* * *

The first thing I did after that was sending a text message to my father giving him a heads up about me ending it with Sophia. The next thing I did was asking Merlin to come over.

Merlin brought some food as usual and we sat down in the sofa to eat, something Sophia never would have allowed.

"I broke up with Sophia." I said when we had almost finished.

Merlin didn't say anything.

"She made me choose between you and her. Apparently she thought you were gay and crazy for me or something." I said and rolled my eyes, realizing how stupid that sounded.

"And you chose me?"

Merlin looked at me with wide eyes, like my choice was a surprise for him.

"Obviously."

"Why?"

"What do you mean why?"

Merlin put down his food and seemed to consider his words before he answered.

"You turn down your father, risking your job, breaking up with your girlfriend that you've been dating for over a year all because you want to be with me. And you know that I'm gay and interested in you. That obviously makes me wonder what's going on in your head right now."

I gaped at him. Was I actually dreaming? Maybe the relief of finally ending it with I-want-money-girl hit me worse than I thought.

"What?"

"What what?"

I rolled my eyes.

"Why would I think you're gay? _Are you gay?_ Or.. never mind that actually, are you _interested in me_?" I was rambling and almost stuttering. I never stutter. Ever. I couldn't have.

"Yeah, I thought Sophia told you?"

"I don't give a shit of what she say. I thought she was wrong. Jealous that I like spending time with you a hundred times more than I like spending time with her."

I hadn't mean to say that last part but I didn't regret saying it when Merlin's face broke out into a grin from ear to ear. I hadn't thought of Merlin as pretty before but I couldn't help but notice how his eyes shined when he smiled or how adorable he was when he tilted his head and smiled. When I thought about it I couldn't understand how I could have missed it. There was something about him. Something different, but good different. Interesting almost.

"I like spending time with you too by the way. I hope you know that at least." Merlin said with a small smile and rose from the sofa to take away our food.

* * *

You would think it would be awkward after this. I had just found out Merlin is gay and has a soft spot for me. But it wasn't at all. I was surprised myself of how little it mattered to me. I had no other friends that were gay and I had been taught by my father that homosexuality was something sinful. Still, I had no hard feelings towards Merlin and even if I tried I couldn't make myself care.

I still enjoyed being with him. We put on a movie after we had set off the table and it was like usual. He fell asleep before the end and I woke him up by pouring some water in his face when the film had ended.

"Argh.. Arthur! Do you have to be such a prat?" Merlin complained and rubbed his eyes groggily.

"Do you have to be an idiot?" I answered but couldn't help but smile slightly. He looked ridiculous with his hair in all angles and his eyes a bit red.

"I'm not an idiot. I'm only a bit tired."

"Sleeping you do in the bed, not in the sofa." I answered without thinking.

Merlin stopped what he was doing and looked at me. I felt my cheeks heating up.

"It's late and you're tired. You're in no condition to drive and I'm feeling a bit tired myself. I have spent months sharing that bed with a person I hate, I can handle one night with you."

I tried to make it sound casual. But I guess I failed. Merlin's eyes widened and he looked a bit lost.

"I'm not letting you drive in your condition." I finished and rose from the sofa. "I'm going to get you a spare toothbrush."

I walked out of the living room and into the bathroom before Merlin could answer. I closed the door and let out a breath I didn't know I'd been holding. I wanted Merlin to stay. I hadn't realized before but I really wanted that. I guess I felt the need to be with someone tonight. I didn't regret anything, and I felt relief that Sophia was gone. But I could still feel that something was missing. Like there was a hole inside me. A hole that only could be filled if Merlin was here.

Sleeping with Merlin turned out to be completely different from sleeping with Sophia. Sophia used to lie looking at her phone before falling asleep and I used to turn my back to her and try my best to ignore her very presence.

I tried to ignore Merlin as well. But that turned out to be more difficult than I thought. I could barely breath like normal without thinking that Merlin would hear me. I was _nervous_. For what? I didn't know. But I could tell that much.

It was ridiculous, really. I wouldn't have cared that if it were anyone else of my friends. But somehow Merlin was different. Very different. And not only because he was gay. I don't think I would've cared if any of my other friends were. But suddenly I couldn't stop thinking about the fact that Merlin was gay.

He had even told me he liked me. But how? Was it just physical attraction or did he like my personality? Would he like to be in a relationship with me or was it just a crush that would fade? And what did he even like? All my other girlfriends had been after my money or status, but I somehow got the feeling that wasn't what Merlin wanted.

"It's not."

I stopped breathing.

"I wouldn't give a shit if you're rich or not Arthur."

Did I say that out loud?

"I.. I think I have something to tell you Arthur. I guess I should've told you sooner but it's not something that is really easy to tell."

"Okay." I answered. He had obviously noticed that I didn't sleep anyway.

It was quiet for a moment and I almost thought that Merlin had decided no to tell me when I felt him turning in the bed to watch me. I lied still and tried to ignore his gaze, staring at the ceiling instead.

"I can read minds."

"Haha, really funny!" I said sarcastically.

"It's true. I don't do it all the time. I try not to. But sometimes it's like I can't put it off and I can't help but read others minds. Like when I'm with you."

"Really, so what am I thinking then?" I said with a smirk not believing him for a second.

Merlin was quiet for a second before turning over again and looking at the ceiling again, his eyes closed.

"Your mind is a mess. You don't want to believe me, but you've really already figured it out even if you don't want to admit it. You're thinking back to all those times when I've known what you've thought without you telling me. You're also thinking a hell lot of me. And what to do with all these confusing emotions regarding me. You don't want to admit to yourself what you're feeling, and that's making you scared. And you.."

"Stop it!" I almost screamed at him.

I fled the bed rushing to the other side of the room like that would protect me from him entering my mind.

"Arthur, listen to me. I can help.."

"No! Get out!" I screamed back.

"Arthur, I'll try harder.. I'll try to control it.."

"Get out!" I screamed again.

When Merlin didn't move I rushed to him again and took him just like I had taken Sophia some hours ago and dragged him out of the apartment.

"Arthur, will you please just listen!" Merlin screamed with tears in his eyes.

"No! I trusted you! And you.. you used me!" I screamed back and I cursed my voice when it broke just a bit.

"When did I use you?! I was born like this! I can't help it. And it's not like I can read everything, if I could chose I wouldn't read anything!"

Merlin was crying now and I was standing with his arm in a death grip on my way to press him out and close the door for him.

I didn't do that though. Something in his eyes made me loose my grip on him and my heart to slower its beating. I let his arm go like I had been burned and turned my back to him.

"You can sleep on the sofa. I'll take the bed." I said and left him where he was, crying on the floor.

* * *

Once I had entered my bedroom I crawled up to the bed and cried. I didn't even know why I cried. I felt betrayed, angry and perhaps a bit scared. But mostly I felt embarrassed, humiliated even. And that's when everything made sense.

I wasn't angry with him for having this.. ability. I was angry that he knew of my feelings. I was _embarrassed_ that he knew of my feelings.

I was straight. I had always knew that. I had never been with a guy, or even been interested in one before. But neither had I been that interested in any girl..

He made me question myself without even knowing it. I loved being in his presence. I loved being with him. I had fun with him. I could be myself with him. He was a friend, but sometimes I felt like he was more. I felt like he was the part of myself that I'd been missing. And that thought freaked me out. I know it did. And that was probably why I had panicked once Merlin had admitted that he could read my mind.

 _He knew all this_. He knew that I was feeling like this. Hell, he might've even knew before I did. He could read my fucking mind! He knew I was thinking he was pretty before. He knew I was questioning my sexuality. He knew I was thinking about dating. He knew _everythin_ g _._

I put my head into the pillow. I was a mess. A complete mess. But, I had always been. I hadn't felt at ease for years before I met Merlin.

"Arthur?" Merlin said quietly from the other side of the door, his voice hoarse from crying.

Maybe it didn't matter.

"Arthur.. I'm really sorry."

Maybe it wasn't Merlin's fault.

"I shall try harder.. I shall try harder never to do that again.."

Maybe it was me that had done wrong.

"Please Arthur, don't shut me out."

And it was probably out of fear.

"Please Arthur.."

I opened the door.

Merlin sat crawled up into a ball on the floor outside my bedroom door. He seemed so small, fragile almost. But I knew he was everything but.

"Come on." I said hoarsely and held out my hand for him to take it. I pulled him to his feet and led him back to the bed.

Merlin sat at the end of the bed and looked at me with wide, red eyes, resembling slightly of a deer in highlights. I sat down next to him and pulled the covers over us.

We sat like that for a while, not saying anything. I closed my eyes and tried to formulate something to say but I couldn't find the words. In the end I settled with taking Merlin's hand once more and pulling him down with me in the bed. I pulled him close to me and put a hand over his torso. I didn't say anything. But I guess I didn't have to.

* * *

I guess it took some time even after that night to make me fully accept the fact that not only were I gay, and had been for my entire life of course, but I was also very much in love with my very clumsy and hopeless assistant. We started hanging out even more, and it almost always ended with him staying the night. We didn't do anything but I know we both could tell something had changed. We weren't just friends anymore. We were something more.

My father was not happy with me for dumping Sophia, but he took it better than expected I guess. Well, he didn't disown me I mean. He was furious of course and yelled at me for hours. But I didn't really mind. Because what he said wasn't true anymore. I wasn't an emotionless robot anymore. I actually had someone I longed to meet, someone I looked forward to meeting. I had someone I loved. And he couldn't take that away from me. At least, that's what I thought.


	2. Chapter 2

Here's the next part! My intention is that this story will have three parts. Hopefully the next part will be up soon. :)

Please leave a review what you think so far and also please let me know if I have made any silly mistakes so I can correct them! ^^ (I'm trying to proof read multiple times but since English isn't my first language I can miss things or just make words/expressions up if I'm not careful :P)

* * *

I never would have thought that our first kiss would be at work, in the bathroom, pressed together in the toilet booth. I had given up trying to control my feelings around Merlin and suddenly he was just there and I was just frustrated and wanting and god was he hot and I just couldn't help it. I mean, I really liked this guy and I would've imagined us doing it in a bit more romantic manner for the first time.. Still, before I could stop myself I had already crossed the distance and pressed myself flush against him. From there I couldn't stop myself no matter how much I tried.

"I'm falling for you." I breathed out after I let go of his wonderful lips.

Merlin's eyes were dark with lust and his cheeks flushed after our kiss but that didn't stop his beautiful smile.

"I kinda figured." He answered seductively before attacking my lips again.

I wasn't surprised that kissing Merlin was nothing like anything else I had ever done. I knew it would be better with Merlin, because I knew I was hell of a lot more attracted to him than I had ever been to anyone else. I didn't know how good it would feel when I finally gave in to my desire though. I could never had imagine the feeling I got when he licked my neck or trailed his fingertips under my shirt. I was in love. And I told him so. I told him I loved him, and I got his most beautiful smile in return, making me want to tell him over and over again. And I did.

It was a given that Uther would eventually find out about our relationship. It didn't take long for the whole office to know, but we tried to be extra discrete around Uther. I really didn't know how to tell him. He was still angry with me for the whole Sophia-story and I wanted that to cool off a bit first. Of course I had planned to plan to tell him eventually, I had no wish to hide around for ever, making it seem like our relationship was something wrong.

Every time I met my father I tried to find a way to bring it up. But I had no way of doing it. There were many issues here. First of all I knew my father wasn't very open minded and might as well freak out only about the fact that Merlin is a man, then there was the fact that Merlin wasn't earning as much money as I did and had no important contacts that would benefit the company. And of course, maybe the worst thing, he was my _assistant_. You didn't do relationships at work, and definitely not with your assistants.

We were really professional about it thought, well.. when we weren't fooling around in an abounded office that is.. But we never let it affect our job performance and I could easily say that my work improved tons in the month we spend as a couple working together. And there were no rules that you couldn't date within the company, no official rules I mean but in my father's head there certainly were. Still, I could have easily agreed to let Merlin switch position or distance myself from him more on working hours if that would've been a problem.

My initial plan was to tell my father that, and discuss a solution in peace. Maybe I could impress him with bravery of being honest, something he usually appreciated. Of course, none of that could happen, before I even had the opportunity to talk to him alone someone had already went behind my back.

"I heard from Sophia's father that you have a problem with your assistant, mr Emrys. I am disappointed you haven't done anything about the issue yet." Uther's tone was cold as always and his gaze made my blood freeze.

"I don't understand what you mean father." I answered just as coldly, sensing that the conversation was heading in the wrong direction.

"Merlin Emrys, your assistant. I have been told that he has been hitting on you. I want him gone from the company before the week is over."

"He has done no wrong." I said as firmly as I could.

"Arthur, it doesn't matter what he has done or not. We can just not have someone like that working for our company, it will affect the company's image!"

"How?!"

Uther put down his files and looked at me with exasperation.

"We will lose costumers if they found out that we have someone like him working here for us."

"If by 'someone like him' you mean someone being gay you might as well fire us both." I said dead serious.

Well, this wasn't really how I had imagined coming out to my dad. As I said before, I wanted to have an adult conversation and tell him calmly about how things had progressed. Still, I didn't regret the words even as his face grew red and his mouth became a thin line.

"What?!" He screamed at me and banged his fist on the table.

"You heard me. If we're suddenly firing people because of their sexual orientation I would be the first to go."

"You are not gay!"

"Really? Then tell me why I have _never_ felt anything for any girl I've dated? You said so yourself not long ago, didn't you? And now I'm _head over heals_ for a guy. Father, I love him. And nothing you do or say will change that."

Uther looked totally shocked for words but I knew he would soon explode.

"If Merlin quits, I quit." I said firmly.

"What has gotten into you?!" My father screamed and for a moment it looked like he would throw something at me, before he calmed himself enough to just end up throwing a book across the room.

"We will be gone before tomorrow." I answered and walked out of his office before he could say anything more.

When I got back to my office I felt.. empty. It felt like I should feel.. angry, betrayed, scared even. But I only felt.. nothing. I didn't feel _anything_ and that scared me more than anything. Some part of me knew that would happen. Had known ever since the day I found out Merlin was interested in me and I started questioning my own feelings for him. My father wouldn't approve, and maybe never would. Still, I couldn't even make myself feel angry at him. If anything, I almost felt sorry for him. Sorry for him not being able to realize that there were things much more important than money, and the company. I knew he had taken my mother's death badly, and that he had not allowed himself to love after that. And maybe that was why he reacted this way. I didn't know. The only thing I knew was that he was not acting the way he could and I couldn't do anything about it at the moment.

I called Merlin and told him what had happened. He didn't say much. He didn't have to. He told me he'd be over in less than an hour, and he was. That was enough for me.

* * *

"You didn't have to do that, you know that?" Merlin mumbled to my neck when we laid in the sofa, having turned on a movie neither of us were really watching.

"But I did. I don't need that job, I don't _want_ that job. All my life has been planned by my father, it's time I do something _I_ want for a change."

Merlin smiled at me and crawled over me and laid down so he was lying on top of me.

"You have changed." He said and kissed me gently.

I had. I would never had imagined this just a couple of months ago. I was unemployed, probably disowned by my own father. He had basically taken everything away from me; my job, my future as a businessman, my status and of course my relationship to him was broken, maybe never to be repaired again.

He had tried to drive Merlin away. I knew it wouldn't be easy for him to find a new job with Uther on his bad side, unfortunately in this situation my father was way more powerful than was healthy for him. Yes, he might do everything in his power to separate us but I would do everything in _mine_ to fight back. Even thought the future was uncertain, and I would definitely miss the safety of working for my father, I didn't regret a thing. How could I? When I still had this stupid, clumsy, adorable man laying above me kissing me like I was the most precious thing on earth?

"Don't you have a notice period? Can he really fire you right away?" Merlin asked suddenly, stopping in the middle of a kiss.

"I guess not, but if he's fine with it I'll not argue. I can't wait to get away from there honestly." I said honestly and Merlin rolled of me and lied next to me, putting his hand in mine.

"But he's your father.."

"Then maybe he should start acting like one, don't you think?" I said much more harshly than I had intended.

Merlin didn't seem to be offended though, he just laid his head down in the crook of my neck and yawned.

"I do think so. But maybe he'll come around? Don't you think?"

I didn't think so. I didn't thing he would ever come around, that he would admit to being wrong and do something about it. I had no hope at all. But for the first time in my life when it came to my father's behavior, I was wrong. And this time I was so happy I was.

It took time. Yes. Almost a year. In that time both me and Merlin had found new jobs, moved in together, and I had gotten to know Merlin's mother.

* * *

I was a bit afraid of meeting Hunith, I must say. I had never really had to experience this meeting-the-parent-thing before, since all my past relationships were either not that serious or arranged by my and the girl's fathers. In that situation it was already granted they wanted me as their stepson and I didn't have to _make a good impression_ or anything. This time it was actually _Merlin's_ decision to be with me, and I had no idea what his mother would think of it.

All those fears were in vain. Hunith was the most likeable woman I had ever met. She was hospitalized for her bad heart, which was ironic because I had never met a woman with such a big heart as her.

And it seemed the feeling was mutual. I was afraid I would strike her as a snob, because of my upbringing. I had always lived in a wealthy family, and I could fall back in habits when I didn't think about it, maybe that's when Merlin called me prat. But Hunith didn't seem to see any of that. She welcomed me with open arms, quite literally actually, and she was like the mother I never had.

She even took me aside and told me how happy Merlin had seemed lately, and actually _thanked me_. The idea is both flattering and ridiculous, of course I had noticed him smiling more but the one definitely more happy was me. I had never been that happy before and I told her that with a sincere smile which was clearly the right thing to say because she only smiled wider and hugged me.

"Mum seemed very happy today, don't you think?" Merlin said with a content smile when we left the hospital.

"Well, she couldn't stop smiling so I would say so." I said with a wink.

"I wish that was always the case. She hates hospitals, she never complains but I know how _trapped_ she feels there."

I didn't really know what to say to that so I just squeezed Merlin's hand and that seemed to be enough.

"Is there any plans for her to leave the hospital?" I asked quietly when we had reached our apartment, not really knowing if it was okay to ask.

"She would need a heart surgery, a new heart. If one becomes available and we could pay for the translation.. But as it looks right now, even if we could find a suitable heart, we probably wouldn't be able to pay for the costs."

Merlin put the keys in the locker and opened the door. I could tell from the way his shoulders fell and his posture changed that the subject was painful but I also knew I would have to ask sometime. If I could do anything to help them I would do it, even if it meant risking my own life that was.

It never came to risking my life in that sense as you normally think of it. But my life definitely _changed_ because of it.

* * *

The day my father showed up in our flat was probably the most surreal day in my life. I hadn't bothered to tell him where I lived, since I didn't think he'd want to continue our contact. Still, one day when I got home from work he just sat there. In the armchair. Right opposite to Merlin who was looking pretty confused himself. Not nervous though, or uncomfortable, which were both feelings I had.

"Arthur. Perfect timing. I was just asking about you." He said stiffly, apparently I wasn't the only one uncomfortable with the situation.

I didn't answer but took off my coat and sat down next to Merlin at the table. I took Merlin's hand in mine, refusing to let my father's presence get to me.

Uther opened his mouth to say something, but closed it again. This happened several times before he took a deep breath and seemed to decide that it was best to just remain quiet. I wasn't going to help him though, he was the one who had showed up without invitation, I assumed he had something to say.

After what felt like hours but was probably only a few, awfully awkward, minutes he put down the cup of coffee Merlin had probably provided him with and looked me in the eyes.

"I misjudged the situation. I see that now. The pressure from the company.. We are not doing well Arthur. I didn't want to tell you but your engagement to Sophia was our only hope, and when they said that about mr Emrys.. I just wanted to save the company Arthur."

I had never seen my father look like that before, so _powerless._ Uther always shined of confidence, I didn't knew he even could look so _weak_.

 _He was alone_. I don't know why it stroke me so that strongly in that moment but it did. I had never thought about it in that way before, but I couldn't help it. My mother passed away during childbirth and my father had raised me alone since then. I can't remember him ever dating or anything of the sort. He was alone, and had been for years.

He had me. Of course. But I think the grief of my mother drove him away from me. I knew all about being lonely, I had lived my whole life being lonely.

"What happens next?" I said calmly.

"I'm going to sell off the company. I won't make a big profit, but at least we'll manage. I think it's time for me to back down. A friend of mine asked me if I wanted to apply for a position as boss at an orphanage, and I know you'll think of me as crazy but I'm actually thinking of doing it."

"I think that seems perfect actually." I said with no hesitation.

Uther looked at me with surprise but said nothing. I knew this was hard for him. He didn't like talking about feelings, he even pretended he didn't have them. This was a huge step for him.

"Well.. that was basically it. I wanted you to know about.. all this. You know where I live." He said and rose from the chair.

Both me and Merlin rose as well but Uther just walked past us, without saying anything more. He hesitated with his hand on the doorknob but before I had the opportunity to say anything he had left.

I stared at the door for an eternity before Merlin took my hand and led me back to the table. Did that really happen? I could not even remember the last time I had a conversation with my father without yelling or insulting involved.

Merlin didn't say anything about it and I was thankful. I didn't think I could handle a discussion anyway right then. He started preparing food and I just sat at the table for several minutes before I made up my mind and rushed through the door, not completely different from the way my father had done just a few minutes before.

* * *

I said that my father didn't like talking about feelings. Well, I guess I was the same. Standing outside his door I felt my heart start racing. I didn't know what to tell him or why I was even here. I just knew I _had to_ do it. Do what? I didn't know, but I knew that whatever happened, I was at the right place.

The tension lifted a bit when Uther opened the door and actually seemed relieved that I had came. We didn't talk about it though, but he invited me to watch some soccer match with him in the living room.

Maybe we didn't have to talk about it though. I wasn't stupid. I knew him showing up at my doorstep was his way of apologizing to me and that was enough. More than enough actually. And when he told me to say hello to Merlin for him when I left, even though they had just met, I knew he was telling me that me being with Merlin was okay. And that thought alone lifted a huge weight from my shoulders.

* * *

Meeting Merlin was the best thing that could ever had happened to me. I loved every second that I spent with him. I was just really happy with my life for once. And of course that meant there had to develop problems.

I knew he could read my mind. But do you know how difficult it is to control your thoughts? He said he could only read my mind when I was close to him, like in a radius from him within a couple of meters. So I tried to not think about my secret until I was outside. Alone.

But maybe he already knew about my plans? I didn't know and it was making me _frustrated_. And I couldn't really ask him about it either because then I would not be able to 'not think about it' and he _would_ know.

I don't mean to say that my boyfriend's.. abilities is a bad thing. I know he had to endure a lot during his childhood and teenage years especially, I don't even want to imagine all stuff being said about me during that time and Merlin actually had to read all things _thought_ about him. Not everything of course. He said he tried not to listen, and even if he wanted to he couldn't listen to multiple persons at once. But still.

Before this moment, if you exclude when I was having my 'I'm not gay shock' it had never really bothered me. Now it did though, and I assume you could guess why.

"Oh my god!" Gwen squealed and I was starting to regret my choice of telling her my plans.

"Hey, take it easy. I don't want Merlin to know yet."

"You're such a badass, you know he can read minds, why did you tell me?" She said with a wink.

I knew telling Gwen, Merlin's best friend, my secret was risky. Still I could need the support and Gwen had been nothing but supportive since the moment I met her.

"Actually.."

"I'm only joking. I'm thrilled that you told me! Really. And I promise you I will not let you down." She said with a full smile and started walking towards the jewelry store.

It turned out I had made the perfect choice by telling Gwen about my proposal plans. I had no idea what kind of ring Merlin wanted and I really wanted it to be perfect. Gwen on the other hand seemed to know exactly what kind of ring Merlin wanted and had to drag me to three different stores before she found it. In my eyes it looked pretty much like all the other rings, but the detail at the bottom line made it 'completely different' from the rest, according to Gwen, without being 'feminine' – her words not mine.

"So, how's your father doing? Is he better from that cold?"

"Not really, he's so stubborn. He won't stay home and rest even though he's ill. He even invited me and Merlin for dinner last weekend, did Merlin tell you about that? It was quite an experience." I said smiling fondly at the memories of my father trying to be the good father I knew he could be and trying to make Merlin feel comfortable with the situation, at the same time as Merlin was enjoying himself thoroughly and then Uther's fever on top of that.. Yeah, quite an experience really.

"He didn't actually, he was too busy complaining about work when he called yesterday, did you hear about Mordred?"

I sighed, of course I had heard. The stupid git had managed to start a fire, the third time this week.

"I'm surprised he is still there, their boss has the biggest patience in history."

Gwen agreed with me and we spent the rest of the lunch discussing suitable punishments for Mordred – who was a bit of an arsehole. Gwen and Merlin were childhood friends and I couldn't be happier for him, Gwen was amazing. She was kind, caring and funny to be with. She was the kind of girl I had been looking for, before, as my girlfriend. The kind of girl I had visioned myself growing old with. That was before I met Merlin, and I couldn't had been more wrong before. Gwen would make a great girlfriend, yes, but not for me. She wasn't clumsy, impulsive, didn't insult me at least twice a day, and she wasn't _Merlin_. And as I sat next to her, with a black box in my right hand side pocket, I realized how much I wanted him.

"I'm positive he'll say say, Arthur. Don't worry." Gwen said reassuringly and I once again wondered if she also had the ability to read minds.

"I just want it to be perfect." I admitted.

"It will be. You're going to propose to the man you love." Gwen said simply and I couldn't help but think about how lucky we both were to have her as our friend. Because that's what she was. _Our_ friend, not only Merlin's. And that alone was amazing. Merlin had been my first real friend in years and with him came all of his friends, who soon enough became my friends as well. I just hoped it would stay that way.

"Thank you."

* * *

Merlin's eyes were round as golf balls and his lip was shivering.

"Are you serious?" Was the first words he said.

"I would suppose so, but if you'd rather it was some silly joke, we can pretend it was." It was supposed to come out as a joke but sounded more like a plea.

"You.. want to marry me?"

If I wasn't shaking already I would have rolled my eyes of the obvious statement. I was on my knee, the box open showing Merlin the ring of his dreams (according to Gwen) and I had just given him my best attempt at a propose-speech. How could I have been more clear?

"Of course." I said and tried to make my voice gentle, since I feared my boyfriend was being close to passing out by now.

When Merlin didn't say anything and just kept breathing in and out I rose and put my hand on his cheek.

"I love you Merlin, and I really want to spend the rest of my life with you. If you don't want to get married that's fine as well, I just really want to be with you."

I stroke his cheek gently, waiting for his response. He was still looking at me with wide eyes and then, finally, his lips started turning upwards and he smiled.

"I really want to be with you too." He answered and wrapped his arms around me and hugged me.

Soon he was both crying and laughing, and I held him when we sank to the floor.

"I had no idea you were going to propose, I thought I would get a heads up or something.. How did you even find the ring?" He said smiling and looked closer at it.

"I'll tell you if you answer my question." I said with a grin.

"Yes, you giant prat, I want to marry you, obviously." He said but couldn't hide his grin when he said it.

"Wait, it was Gwen wasn't it? She's the only one I have showed this ring for."

"This ring?"

Merlin took the ring from the box and put it on his finger and looked at it closer.

"Yeah, I found it online some weeks ago, and I sent her the link. I had no idea I would ever get this ring though.. It's really expensive Arthur, you really didn't have to do this!"

"Wait.. You 'found it online'.. You mean you were looking after rings."

"Yeah.. I mean, I didn't think you were willing to take that step but I've been thinking about it for a while actually. I just never thought you'd be the one for commitment."

I never would have thought that before either. But after meeting Merlin, everything had changed and being engaged to Merlin was just the beginning.


	3. Chapter 3

Time for the last chapter! :o This was much more difficult than I had imagined.. I had an ending ready, but I wasn't that happy about it.. And then the story just continued.. And I couldn't stop it.. So yeah, not really what I had in mind from the beginning.. But endings are always the most difficult part for me :P

Don't forget to tell me what you think! :)

* * *

It was only a month before the wedding when our happiness took a turn. We had been planning our wedding for more than a year and everything had been going smoothly for us both. We had gotten a much better relationship with my father and Merlin had gotten promoted to the position he'd always wanted. Life was going great and I couldn't have been happier.

Until the day we got the phone call from the hospital. Hunith was getting worse.

"She needs a heart, Arthur. She has to make the transplantation within days or it's too late." Merlin cried after hanging up the phone.

I was holding him close and tried to say reassuring things to him. But what could I say? They'd been waiting for an available heart for years now with no result. And now it was almost too late.

In the end we had to call Uther for a ride to the hospital, since neither of us were capable of driving. We all rushed into the hospital, but were told we couldn't see her. The wait before someone told us what was happening was the worst. We thought it was too late, they had told us it was too late, and I had to support Merlin whilst I felt like hell myself. I was happy Uther was there, he was also worried but he was still a big support for the both of us.

"We have found a suitable donor."

When we finally got some information that was the only thing that mattered. The miracle had happened. Hunith's life could be saved. I saw the hope in Merlin's eyes but before he could say anything the hope was shattered once more.

The cost. We couldn't afford it. It didn't matter, Merlin said. He would find a way to get the money. But it would be too late. We had spare money, but not even close to what was needed. We had tried to save money if this would happen but with our salaries and our costs we hadn't been able to save away that much. Merlin sank to the floor. He wasn't crying but his silence was even worse. He was in shock and I couldn't do anything to help him. I put a blanket on him and held him but I was starting to worry he wasn't even breathing.

I looked at my father, helpless, but Uther looked at another direction. He wasn't looking at me. He hadn't said anything since the doctor came with the news. I recognized that look. It was the look he wore when he was deep in thought.

"Arthur. I need you to take Merlin outside for a bit of fresh air. I'll talk to them and I will handle this and I will text you once everything is settled. Do you understand?"

I didn't understand but I did as he said anyway. We sat down on a bench in the inner garden of the hospital and I kept a tight hold of my fiancee. He still hadn't said anything but I think the sun light and the fresh air helped his breathing at least.

I didn't know what to say. I didn't understand what my father meant and I didn't care. All I cared about was that Merlin's mother was dying and there was nothing we could do to prevent that.

I still remember sitting on that bench with Merlin in my arms, without hope. And I can still remember the exact moment when I got the text from my father telling me that it had all been taken care of and that they would make the transplantation. I was too upset to understand the meaning of it. And I think everything was just a blur from then.

All I can really remember, and all I want to remember is the moment when we found out that the transplantation was successful and that we could see Hunith. It was so surreal that I don't even think it made us happy. I mean of course it did, but I'm not sure either of us understood or believed it then.

It wasn't until later that I understood that Uther had paid for the transplantation. It wasn't until later that I realized that he had done _everything_ to save Hunith. It wasn't until later that I realized how lucky we were, and how big favor Uther had done for us.

* * *

"Arthur, this isn't the time for zoning out you know." Merlin interrupts my thoughts.

I flash him a smile and apologize. He just chuckles and hold me tighter. I knew this was going to be an emotional day. But it's been more so than I thought. Just the thought of what would have happened if Uther hadn't helped us makes my blood turn to ice. And because of that my own sister has abounded us all.

* * *

I guess it started way before the thing with Hunith. Morgana has always been convinced that I am Uther's favorite child. Morgana is my step sister, yes, and Uther had a completely different relationship to my mother than hers, since he was married to my mother. But it shouldn't matter. It doesn't matter.

We grew up as siblings, Morgana and I. Her mother left Morgana on our doorstep when she was only a baby and I've never heard my father complain about it. He has treated her just as he would have done if she had the same mother as I.

As I've said before, Uther is not very good at showing his emotions, but he's always been like that. He's always been a bit distant, it's not until recently that he has started to open up. But Morgana doesn't see it that way. She tells me he has always preferred me, and that she has always been treated us an outsider.

They fought a lot, Morgana and Uther, whilst I shut my mouth and didn't very often argue with him. Morgana was supposed to start working at his company as well, but she refused and left. Our relationship has been a bit shaky ever since, but at least we used to meet at holidays and my father and I always came on her childrens birthday parties.

It wasn't until the day Uther called Morgana and told her that he'd helped Hunith with her heart transplantation that we started to realize just how broken our relationship really was. Morgana, of course, asked about the exact amount of money he'd spent and was furious when he told her. Why? Because she has never received that amount of money as a gift. He tried to tell her that he would do the same to her if he had the opportunity, but right now he hasn't that kind of money to spend.

Since this incident Morgana has started to call us and harass us. It's insane. She blames me for forcing Uther to save Hunith's life. She blames me for always being Uther's favorite. She blames both of us for treating her as an outsider. And she won't let us meet her family or children.

Uther has never told me, or Morgana of course, that he loves her. But I know it. Morgana is his only daughter and she could never be replaced by anyone. He misses her, terribly, and wonders where he did wrong. It kills me seeing him like this, but I can do nothing.

Merlin met Morgana's children before this incident, and they absolutely adored Merlin. I know they like me too but Merlin became their idol, in the best kind of way. Being forbidden to ever meet with them again hurts both of us. And I really don't know what to do about it.

Even Hunith has gotten her fair amount of hate letters and phone calls from Morgana and her husband, blaming her for sabotaging our family. It was already difficult for my father and I to convince Hunith that she doesn't have to repay us and that we really just want her to live, this is not making it easier.

And all this because of a certain amount of money. I really don't understand it. I take Merlin's hand in mine and kiss him on the cheek.

"You don't have to worry about Morgana today, Arthur. She won't show up, she shouldn't even know about this day."

And isn't this horrible. I'm not even inviting my own sister to my wedding. And isn't that proof that she's right? That we're treating her as an outsider? Well, technically yes. But I would want nothing more than having my sister from when I was fifteen here when I say I do to my future husband. I would want nothing more than to dance with her at my wedding and getting her blessing. Unfortunately that's not happening.

After the incident, as we use to call it, she has been nothing but cruel about my relationship with Merlin. She had no problem, at least not what she said, when I told her I was dating a man almost a year and half ago. But suddenly it's wrong, disgusting, untrue, selfless.. I don't even remember all her words. She has never been a homophobe, the Morgana I knew when I grew up was open minded, accepting and would never say those kind of things.

I would have loved to invite my sister from when I grew up to our wedding, but I won't even tell the Morgana that sent me an email as late as yesterday explaining what a horrible brother I had been when growing up, that I'm getting married today.

"It's not your fault, you know." Merlin says gently and strokes my hand. "Some people.. They think money and power is the most important thing, and they never really say what's on their mind but hide it with insults and complaints. You could not have seen this coming, not even I saw this coming Arthur, and I can _read minds_."

"Merlin is right Arthur, don't think about Morgana today. Maybe some day she'll come around. And this is the beginning of something new, today you'll create your own family. With the person you love." Gwen says, smiling encouragingly. Gwen is helping us getting ready, and at the same time she has contact with Lance who is responsible for greeting all the guest coming to the church.

"But what if our children end up hating us like Morgana? I don't think I could handle that." I admit in a low tone.

Merlin removes his hand from mine and instead put it around my neck, embracing me in a hug.

"How much I love knowing that you want to have children Arthur, you must stop worrying. You will never know what happens in the future but I know that as long as we're together everything will be fine. And I can't wait to start living my life as your husband Arthur."

"Hey, save that for your wedding speech, Merls." Gawain interrupts him as he walks into the room where they're hiding before the ceremony. "Come on princess, getting cold feet just minutes before your wedding?" He asks with a grin but I know he's actually sincere.

"Not at all." I answer, and hugs Merlin tighter. And I'm not. Of course I'm not. I'll probably worry a little bit more if we're even blessed with children, but being able to worry about that would only be a blessing. And I know is that there's no one I'd rather do that with than Merlin.

* * *

"If someone would have told me that the person spilling coffee all over me on his very first day at work would eventually become my husband I would've declared them as crazy. And I would have been right. Merlin, you are the worst at performing house hold task, you _still_ manage to spill my coffee over me in the morning, you did it as late as this morning, and you could never remember in which order I wanted my papers at work. But still, I wanted you as my assistant and I want to be your husband more than anything, because it doesn't matter if you so spill the wine over me at dinner today, which I'm counting on, or if you would have tripped on the way up to the altar, because there is no one that complements me as you do. I knew it from the first day when you found me upset in my office, you didn't know me at all, still you knew exactly what I needed. You understand me, and you love me for who I am, and I could never ask for more. Merlin, you have saved me from a loveless work filled life and given me a life full of happiness and adventure. I love you more than I could ever tell you, clumsiness and all, and I am honored to finally be able to call you my husband."

I've hold plenty of speeches during my time at my fathers company, and I've never been nervous when speaking. But standing up in front of all my friends holding a speech, a speech that might have been too short and a bit rude but still very personal, made my voice shake and I had to hold onto the table to keep my hands from shaking. Everyone is applauding at my speech but I don't see it. All that I see is Merlin smiling at me, and I can almost swear I see a tear in his eyes, even that I know he will deny it later, and I lean down to kiss him passionately, even though I know it might not be appropriated at a wedding, just because I can't stop myself.

Merlin, being slightly more responsible than I, gently pulls away and winks at me before standing up.

"Yeah, I think we all have had our minute to.. recover from the beautiful description of me you just heard, and for the ones that couldn't come to the church before, I managed _just fine_ to walk down the aisle without tripping over my feet." Some people laugh and I roll my eyes but can't help my big grin. "And I must have been crazy too, falling for a prat like you. But I did, and there was nothing that I could do to stop it. Absolutely nothing. And when you told me all those years ago that you've been told I liked you I just wanted to laugh out loud for the absurdness of it all. I had already loved you for so long, I thought my feelings was obvious for everyone around us. And maybe they were, but not for you. I have never told you how nervous I was that night when you found out both of my biggest secrets or how happy I was when I realized you had accepted them both. I never dared to wish that you would love me back Arthur, and I would have been happy staying your friend, but I'm so glad that I never had to hide my feelings for you and even more happy that you reciprocates them of course. You said you were honored to call me your husband, and I say the same to you. I love you Arthur. And I can't wait to start our life together as husbands."

Merlin gives me a blinding smile and I feel my eyes water. He hadn't really cried when I had my speech, so I won't cry, no matter what my eyes want. I give him a long hug though, and if I push to his neck a little bit harder and longer than usual, it's definitely not because I'm crying against him.

Both my father and Hunith hold speeches, and when Hunith almost starts crying when she thanks me for taking care of her son, and once again thanks both me and my father for saving her life, I know I'm not alone with getting tear eyed.

"Emotional night, huh?" Merlin whispers to me when the speeches are done and it's time for our waltz.

"I hope you tripping your feet during the waltz might loosen the tension a bit."

This earns me an elbow in my side but I feel some of my tension lift when he can't stop his smile. To be honest I know he won't trip. If someone is going to trip that would be me, if only because I can't keep my feelings under control.

No one trips, but that's okay because after our waltz no one makes any more emotional speeches and most people are dancing and laughing instead of crying. Neither me nor Merlin is any good at dancing but we do it anyway, laughing when we almost collides with someone and it's exactly what I need after such an emotional day.

"Are you alright?" Merlin asks me when we sit down on two empty chairs in the corner, a bit outside from the rest.

"It's been a bit more emotional than I had expected, after everything that happened I mean, but it's definitely going to be a day I will remember forever."

Merlin agrees with me and puts his head on my shoulder. We're both feeling a bit tired I assume, even though it's not that late yet it's been an exhausting day so far.

"About what we talked about before.. You really shouldn't worry about what she says. Morgana is just jealous of you, you are following your dream, you are marrying the love of your life and you and Uther has finally made up."

"I had actually forgotten all about her until you brought her up now." I say, not bothering to comment on what he said.

"I know, I just remember you thinking that you'd like her to be here. And maybe this is the safest way to have her here, in our minds, and then we could chose whatever memory of her that we want."

"Actually, I've decided to get a prohibition on visitation on her and Mordred, so they can't contact us anymore. I know it seems a bit drastic, but I can't have this constant harassment and physiological _torture_ anymore. And I've realized today, that I don't have to. We filled the entire church with people that loves and respect us, and there's even more people here now, I don't need someone that will only bring me down. I want to live my own life, and I will never do that as long as I'm stuck in the past. And my future doesn't involve Morgana, or at least not the Morgana that I've known for the past few years. It does however, involve you, and there is actually something I want to show you."

I take Merlin's hand in mine and lead him outside.

"Wait here." I tell him and run inside to find my bag.

I run through the wall of people and can't help but kiss Hunith on the cheek and thank her for her speech, whom I haven't had time to talk to at all today, on the way. I don't stay long though because I don't want to keep her son waiting and she understands.

Merlin sits at the bench outside and looks as peaceful as ever. I approach him slowly, kissing his neck before I sit down in front of him.

"I know this is probably not the day for this, and that you most of all want to get back to the guests, but I've waited to do this for so long and when you said that before.. I couldn't wait anymore. This is totally up to you, and I just want to tell you that it is and that I have already made up my mind about this, but I'll of course respect whatever decision you make." I realize I'm rambling so I quit talking pretty abruptly.

Instead I take out the papers that I didn't mean to show Merlin today but couldn't help to bring with me and give them to him.

Merlin just stares. I feel a bit nervous, even though his answer isn't that important. I have everything I want right now, I don't need anything else.

"Arthur.. is this?.."

I nod and wait for his answer.

"Oh my god."

And I wait.

"I can not believe this."

Merlin's eyes waters and his hands shakes. I put my hands around his and smile encouragingly at him.

"I didn't know you were serious about this." He says at last, still a bit shaky.

"I am. I want this. But only if you want it too."

Merlin throws himself in my arms and hugs me hard.

"I want it more than anything!" He cries at my neck.

And that's the only answer that I need.

* * *

 **Epilogue**

"Arthur, you're spoiling her."

"Who bought her a new bike last month?"

"She needs to know how to bike, buying a console for TV-games is a completely different thing."

"First of all, she had a bike, which might be as old as I but was completely fine. Second, this isn't any console, she'll be able to play a lot of cool new games on this one. I promise you, they'll release tons of great games this year."

"For you or for her?"

I smile widely and shrug, since I already know Merlin knows the answer. Luckily, I'm not the only one crazy about video games or I'd be in trouble by now.

"Fine, but no more random presents. If you continue like this she'll become spoiled Arthur. She has to learn that you have to work for what you want."

"She is three years old, Merls. She'll probably not even remember it when she's older."

Merlin is just about to answer me when I take a step forward and kiss him to silent him. He's right and he will probably win the discussion if I let him.

 _You know I will._

Stop interrupting.

 _Why?_

I told you not to read my mind Merls, if you want to know anything just ask me!

 _How could I do that when you have my lips sealed?_

I smile in the kiss and press myself closer to him. We are bickering like an old married couple, which is not that close to the truth actually, even though we're not that old. And when our daughter wakes up an hour later and wants both of our attentions I can't help but think about how happy I am.  
I've still not made up with my sister but I've finally lost hope that we ever will, and that's almost freeing. After we got the prohibition of visitation she hasn't contacted us once and we have been able to live our own life. We have money, but not as much as I had when I grew up. But it's insane how much happier I am now than then, I am surrounded by people who loves me and cares for me...

 _I love you daddy!_

 **Freya, what have I told you about reading my mind?**

 _She can't help it Arthur, I guess she inherited it from me._

 **But you can Merlin! Stop reading my mind both of you!**

…

And that's the only thing that matters.


End file.
